Do you think she's hot?

I read an article this morning about how males and females communicate and misinterpret messages from each other.

The article was very insightful about how women will hint at things instead of saying exactly they are thinking and guys tend to miss out on these cues. Females tend to build up these emotions of disappointment which ends up being an explosion over the last straw, which tends to be something seemingly petty.

Some guys do this too.

Examples in the 'Lost in Translation' part were hilarious yet totally realistic. My favorite:

She says: "Do you think that woman's hot?"

She means: "Tell me that I'm hot."

He hears: "DANGER! DANGER! DANGER! DO NOT ANSWER!"

FOR THE GUYS

I say the answer is just tell your girlfriend or wife you think she's hot. We're just having a moment of insecurity OR just interested in what you're interested and wondering if we match up. Either way, complimenting us and reassuring us is always a good thing.

I put this in my gchat status and received a variety of reactions.

Girl 1: This reminds me of something that happened last week...

Guy 1: Girls are evil. Guys don't play those games.

Girl 2: haha.

Guy 2: This is a loaded question. What if its a lie to tell the girl she's hot?

[uhhh? why are you with her? i think if you really like someone, they end up seeming more and more attractive to you... he went on to explain attractiveness comes in- hot, pretty, cute. to him, hot, is a bit degrading. i say just use whatever adjective she used and give her some affirmation. we may blush and deny it. but its still flattering, in that giddy, "teeheehee he thinks i'm cute" way.]

Guys no longer need to fear the above scenario, the dreaded "Does this make me look fat?", and other similar questions. Now you know the answer.

You are welcome.

FOR THE GIRLS

Cut him some slack. Quick to forgive and slow to anger.

It's easy to get caught up in emotions.

I try to take a break to calm down in an argument because it's easy to say something harsh you don't wans to say. Guys like to problem-solve, like challenges and want to start fixing things right away- cars, computers, arguments, etc. (maybe that's why mechanics and engineers are predominately guys...) I tend to need more time to process information. Each person is different.

Also, females tend to do lots of comparing with other females. We care what others think of us and since from a distance you can't see a stranger's thoughts, dreams, goals, integrity, intelligence and inner beauty, we settle for comparing appearance. I admit I dress up more going out with girlfriends than going out with my boyfriend. He doesn't need to worry about me dressing up to impress some random guy I bump into because I'm just trying to fit in, look as lovely as everyone else, and feel confident while having fun.

I am reminded of something I read in Every Woman's Batttle (I still need to finish this book) about how a great amount of dissatisfaction in relationships (that volcano of emotion building up that suddenly erupts over how your boyfriend/husband did not hold open the door for you) stems from females habit of comparing themselves and their significant others to other people. No matter what you decide its a terrible habit.

...our definition of a woman of integrity: Her thoughts, words, emotions, and actions all reflect an inner beauty and sincere love for God, others, and herself. When we compare ourselves to others, we put one person above the other. We either come out on top (producing vanity and pride in our lives), or we come short (producing feelings of dissappointment with what God gave us). Regardless of how we measure up when we make these comparisons, our motives are selfish and sinful rather than loving. ...

Not only can we attract unhealthy relationships with men when we feel intimidated or superior to other women, we also miss out on something we all desperately need: intimacy with our sisters.

A bit of a tangent, but I really liked what she had to say about comparisons.

We really aren't as evil as some guys tend to think.

We can be darn right sweet sugar and spice. And smell nice.