Pulling out the cushion.

 Do not worry about tomorrow for today has enough worries of its own.

I am finally leaving the nest and venturing back into the world of rent and utility bills. Although I am excited to live with people my own age and new friends and FINALLY have FREEDOM! in kitchen once again, I'm a bit scared. When I first graduated college, my brother, who was one of those handsomely rewarded "I live at work" investment bankers, looked down at my (fraction of his earnings) salary and asked me how I expected to survive, I responded "well I better get used to PB&J sandwiches". I saw it as a good opportunity to force myself to simplify my life. Fortunately, I decided to not rush into living with craigslist strangers and moved with my dad, temporarily. Lucky me had a cushion of what I was supposed to pay in rent to save or spend semi-frivolously (mostly on classes) AND visiting my wonderful grandpa only meant a one-minute walk AND I got to spend some time with my dad to get to know him better than I did in my childhood. Unfortunately, "temporarily" turned into over two years and I grew accustomed to my own bathroom, hanging my laundry in that bathroom, sticking holes in my walls, living two-minutes from the freeway, not cooking and that slightly cushy cushion.

They say rent should not be more than 30% (or 30-35% if you a place with a high-standard of living, aka CA) of your income. I feel so fortunate that my future housemates were able to bargain down the price of the house. Yet fear comes around for a surprise visit and pounces on me. You know that gnawing fear of the unknown? That let's come up with every worst case-scenario possible type of feeling. I've been thinking about setting aside money for love opportunities. If I do, I am really going to need to do some tight budgeting and lots of discipline.

Lately, I've been running into more people outside of stores asking for money. People that don't seem much different from me. They are clean, well-dressed and don't have a disability or drug problem or mental illness to blame for being down on their luck.  They recently lost their jobs, have rent to pay and usually have kids to feed. How far would you have to be pushed to start asking strangers for help? It must be a humbling experience. I was looking on craigslist for housing a few weeks ago and came across a post from a former banker who found himself in a place he never expected. Laid off and unsure what to do with himself, you could hear the desperation in his plea for a good Samaritan to provide him housing for a $200/mo. Oh how I wish I owned a home with lots of rooms to house all of them. I bet none of them expected to find themselves so vulnerable.

I never know how to respond to people asking for money. During freshman orientation the police representative told us the homeless had many services available to them and if we were to give them money it would probably be spent unnecessary things. I had a discussion with Jbear and his thinking is if you give to people who do it full-time you are enabling them to continue a lifestyle that doesn't contribute to society. But what about people who have to pay rent NOW and are still waiting to hear back from job prospects? Can you really know a person's situation without getting to know the person's situation? I think the time you are least likely to get meaningful help is when the person you are asking is in a rush to get somewhere. That has been me in most situations. I hope for change.