It Takes 1.
Most people say it takes two to make a marriage work. If one person gives up or messes up really bad, some people the marriage won't work and divorce is the only course of action. Irreconcilable differences? Hear that one before?The speaker believed
it only takes ONE person to save the marriage.
Divorce is Allowed but God Hates it.
Divorce came from rabbinical law, surprisingly from God. Though God created marriage and hates divorce, He also created divorce for certain situations and for those people who are too selfish to reconcile. Remember the point in the previous notes about SELFISHNESS? It's quite a problem.
Before Choosing Divorce, Try Being Nice.
The speaker recounted a story of a woman from his church who came in for a counseling session. Her husband was a drinker who was rarely home, always out in the bars drinking after work, and came home to pass out. Other people really liked her husband but this was a tough life for her, she rarely saw him. She was left to run the household, care for the kids and she this was her daily life for years. She wanted a divorce. Though she came in for counseling, what she really wanted was blessing for a divorce.
There have been a few situations when the speaker did end up agreeing for divorce for some of the couples, many people would hear her story and tell her she needs to leave him, but his response was different. Boy was she surprised when his advice to her was the treat him nicer. Not just treat him nicer, but to talk to him and ask him about the kids. She was furious! She disappeared for a few months and stopped showing up at church.
About 8 months later she came in for another counseling session. She admitted to being very upset and angry at the him (the speaker) for months. He had stolen her exit, her easy way out. One day she decided to try some of the things he suggested. She woke up early to make her husband breakfast, because morning was the only time she could meet with him, served him breakfast, asked him advice about some things and followed through with his answer. Slowly they talked more and she brought up the kids. Though he was not around much, he still cared about his kids. She told him that the kids needed his help and he came home after work instead of going to the bar to help with the family. Eventually, he stopped going to the bar and coming home every night.
Lesson: Treat your spouse as gold even if they are undeserving.
Be determined to treat the other person like gold, whether they are worthy or not.
Treat others the way God wanted them to be treated.
Theme: Don't Be Fair, Be Great
There is a common theme in the bible- treat others good when they are good but also treat them good when they are bad, love the unlovely, forgive others not because they asked to be forgiven but because God requires it. This is contrary to the world's culture and the Fairness Doctrine. I think this is a good thing to consider in all relationships (there would be a lot less bullies in the world). But this is most important in the marriage relationship, because your two most important relationships are with God and your spouse.
What we think of about our spouse can make them or break them.
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