Marriage 5 - Entrusted

Continuation of notes from the marriage seminar.

 answersingenesis.org

In The Fear of God
The New International Version of Ephesians 5:21 says we are submissive out of obedience and the King James Version of Ephesians 5:21 says we are submissive "in the fear of God."

God is omniscient, He is all-knowing and very aware. God is paying attention. If you don't treat others well, you will need to answer to God. We will be held accountable for how we treated each other in the context of marriage.

Responsible to God
We have accountability for how we treat each other in fear of God. We have a Responsibility to God.

One day,

God may ask you,

"How did you care for the one I entrusted to you?"

Doing Life Together + 1
When considering marriage, most people decide that the person they are set to marry is the person who they want to do life with. The two parties decide they want to do life together, but there is a third party. God.


The Marriage Ceremony
At this point the speaker gives a demonstration of this great deal God has entrusted to each of us and how He is a member of the marriage too. He pulled up a couple that had been married longer than most in the crowd and positioned them as they stood before the officiator on their wedding day. 

First he stood by the wife and spoke to the husband.
When you got married to your wife, did you realize that she is a creation of God? God only created one of her in the whole world and God is crazy about her. God loves greatly her and wants you to give her everything He wants her life to be. So when you married her, you weren't entering a pact to do life together, it was a pact with God. God is entrusting her to you.

He turns to stand by the husband and spoke something similar to the wife.

The Pronouncement
During the traditional pronouncement at the end of the wedding ceremony, the officiant says something along the lines of

"By the authority committed to me by _[governing body]_, I declare that _[person A]_ and _[person B]_ are now husband and wife, according to the ordinance of God, and the law of this state: in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Those whom God hath joined together, let no man put asunder."

"Those whom God hath joined together, let no one put asunder." means let no one come between to harm or destroy this union. This includes the people in the audience, people outside of the marriage, but also the two people within the marriage.

After the part the officiator pronounces them husband and wife, they are told you may kiss the bride.

Lesson: God entrusted you with your spouse and you will be held accountable with how you treat him/her.

Marriage 3 - It Takes One

Continuation of my notes from the marriage seminar.

answersingenesis.org

It Takes 1.

Most people say it takes two to make a marriage work. If one person gives up or messes up really bad, some people the marriage won't work and divorce is the only course of action. Irreconcilable differences? Hear that one before?

The speaker believed
it only takes ONE person to save the marriage.

Divorce is Allowed but God Hates it.
Divorce came from rabbinical law, surprisingly from God. Though God created marriage and hates divorce, He also created divorce for certain situations and for those people who are too selfish to reconcile. Remember the point in the previous notes about SELFISHNESS? It's quite a problem.

Before Choosing Divorce, Try Being Nice.
The speaker recounted a story of a woman from his church who came in for a counseling session. Her husband was a drinker who was rarely home, always out in the bars drinking after work, and came home to pass out. Other people really liked her husband but this was a tough life for her, she rarely saw him. She was left to run the household, care for the kids and she this was her daily life for years. She wanted a divorce. Though she came in for counseling, what she really wanted was blessing for a divorce.

There have been a few situations when the speaker did end up agreeing for divorce for some of the couples, many people would hear her story and tell her she needs to leave him, but his response was different. Boy was she surprised when his advice to her was the treat him nicer. Not just treat him nicer, but to talk to him and ask him about the kids. She was furious! She disappeared for a few months and stopped showing up at church.

About 8 months later she came in for another counseling session. She admitted to being very upset and angry at the him (the speaker) for months. He had stolen her exit, her easy way out. One day she decided to try some of the things he suggested. She woke up early to make her husband breakfast, because morning was the only time she could meet with him, served him breakfast, asked him advice about some things and followed through with his answer. Slowly they talked more and she brought up the kids. Though he was not around much, he still cared about his kids. She told him that the kids needed his help and he came home after work instead of going to the bar to help with the family. Eventually, he stopped going to the bar and coming home every night.


Lesson: Treat your spouse as gold even if they are undeserving.

Be determined to treat the other person like gold, whether they are worthy or not.

Treat others the way God wanted them to be treated. 

Theme: Don't Be Fair, Be Great
There is a common theme in the bible- treat others good when they are good but also treat them good when they are bad, love the unlovely, forgive others not because they asked to be forgiven but because God requires it. This is contrary to the world's culture and the Fairness Doctrine. I think this is a good thing to consider in all relationships (there would be a lot less bullies in the world). But this is most important in the marriage relationship, because your two most important relationships are with God and your spouse.

What we think of about our spouse can make them or break them.

Marriage 2 - Submission

Continuation of my notes from the marriage seminar.

answersingenesis.org

All of us are born with Adamic Nature
Somehow within the first ten words a child says, he or she will suddenly start saying the word "mine." Which parents teach their kids this? No one, yet somehow every child knows. This is natural. It's human nature.

Paul says we should recognize our natural selfish nature.
Don't feed it --> Reckon it dead --> Adopt the nature of Christ

Current Lessons in Love
Even men who do not attend church or consider themselves Christian, somehow all know the part of the Bible that goes "Wives, submit to your husbands." In the last few generations everyone teaching about love in the marital relationship starts at Ephesians 5:22. Wives submit to your husband. Husbands love your wife.

The speaker thinks the lessons should start the verse before.

Ephesians 5:21
(Two versions of the same verse)
Submit to one another out of obedience to God. (NIV)
Submitting yourselves to one another out of fear of God. (KJV)

Definition of Submissive
Arrange yourself under
Prioritize that person you are submissive to

"Submission" is not really a word that is glorified in our culture, submissive is not something people tend to put on their resumes, but it is a beautiful thing. We have marriage relationships with the potential for God's design to be fulfilled and for both parties to be joyful, but it requires submission.

Lesson:  See your spouse as more important than yourself.

When we suppress SELFISHNESS --SELFLESSNESS rises to the top.

Prioritize the other person.

Next time: Does it take two to dance?

Marriage Part 1 - Adamic Law

[1.5 weeks later...]
It's FRIDAY! (technically Saturday)
I made it to the end of the week and I am still ALIVE!

Do you hear that?
It is the quiet before the storm... the time is fast approaching... brace yourself. for. wedding season.

I am going to my first wedding of 2012 tomorrow! I am so excited for the couple!

Speaking of weddings, which I hear often lead to marriage, I attended a marriage seminar tonight. Yes, I know I am not married.

Since I told my housemate I was planning on typing up my notes I figured I'd share some things I learned here with you too.
 ----------
Adam + Eve (& Adamic Nature)


Adam + Eve = 1st Marriage Ever.
Adam noticed the animals in pairs of two. Wait a minute, something was missing. God created Eve to be a partner to Adam. He saw her and his response was probably "Wow, for me?". They had everything at their disposal. God gave them everything they could need. But then....

Adam + Eve Mess Things Up for All of Mankind
Adam and Eve lived in the garden and God provided everything freely except fruit from the Tree of Knowledge. There was ONE thing the humans were not allowed to do. Guess what they did?


Temptation: You Can Be Your Own God
The temptation given to Adam and Eve were once you eat the fruit of knowledge, you will know good and evil, even though God forbade it, you will be like God, you can be your own God.  

Human Relationship with God Changed
The moment they bit that apple, humans' relationship with God changed. They were banished from the garden. Humans were imperfect, committed the first sin, many more to follow.


Adam + Eve = 1st Dysfunctional Marriage
Can you imagine how Adam and Eve looked leaving the garden? Adam probably was still accusing Eve of being the reason he ate the fruit and they are getting kicked out of their perfect home and she was probably pointing a finger at him or the snake partaking in the bickering and making excuses. Well, things were not looking good.


The 1st Dysfunctional Family
Adam and Eve had some kids and one of them murdered his brother. No matter what era you are in, that family sounds like it has problems. The first family in human history was also the world's first dysfunctional family. Human history is not looking so good in the realm of marriage. 

It is hard to find examples of good marriages and family situations in the Old Testament. Let's look at some key figures: 
1) Abraham - "father of the nations" - had a wife named Sarah but also slept with and had children with Sarah's servant Hagar
2) Solomon - "wrote the book of love" - you'd think this guy would know how to love his wife, but that may have been tough because he had 700 wives and 300 concubines
3) David - "a man after God's own heart" - great guy, but had that affair with Bathsheba, got her pregnant, tried to hide it, may have tried to get her husband killed, he also had some pretty rotten children

Dysfuntional Family -- is a result of the Fall of Man --from desiring to be my own god -- which can be summed up in one word. SELFISHNESS. 


The speaker referred to this as human's Adamic nature.

http://www.answersingenesis.org/

Next time: Ephesians 5:21